Don’t Confuse Presence with Preparation

Last Friday, I had the chance to hear Brené Brown at the Carolina Theatre, thanks to the Charlotte Regional Business Alliance. The theatre was buzzing, every seat filled with Charlotte Leaders, eager to hear from her. Brené has a way of holding up a mirror that makes you lean in and squirm in your seat a little at the same time.

At one point, she shared a story, telling us about a woman who once came up to her at an event and said how much she admired Brené’s executive presence. It was something this woman had been working on herself. Brené smiled, asked her a few questions, and then closed the story with a line that hit me like a freight train. “Don’t confuse presence with preparation.” That phrase hasn’t let me go. It is easy to believe that showing up is enough. That being in the room, sitting at the table, or speaking with confidence, while wearing a blazer, is all that leadership requires. And yes, presence matters. But presence without preparation will only take us so far.

The leaders I respect most are grounded not just in how they show up but in the unseen work behind it. They prepare. They think ahead. They wrestle with the questions before inviting others into the conversation. That is what gives presence its power.

Brené’s words reminded me to check myself. Am I showing up just to be seen, or am I preparing in a way that makes my presence meaningful? That’s the challenge I carried out of the theatre, and into this week. A week full of seemingly tasks, while having hard conversations, and reminding myself to listen to understand and not just for my turn to speak. While it's no small order, it is absolutely achievable.

The real insight isn't that you have to choose between presence and preparation, but that they are two sides of the same leadership coin. Presence is the presentation; preparation is the power source. It's the silent commitment to doing the deep work of thinking, wrestling, and learning which fills the blazer with substance. My goal, and hopefully yours, is to make sure every time we step into a room, our presence isn't an empty performance but a deliberate, well-grounded, and meaningful contribution.