A few years ago, I was working with my therapist Molly, and she challenged me to begin to identify my personal core values. It took several weeks to work through it. Beginning with a long list of values, attributes, and characteristics. I thought about the type of person I am and the type of person I want to be. I wrote words on post-it notes and stuck them on the wall in my office and slowly began to remove the ones that I knew weren’t really me. At the end of the exercise, three values remained.

Authenticity, adventure, and hospitality.

Quite often I get things wrong, but at the core of who I am, these three values are still what most dictate my decisions, guide me in how I show up in my relationships, and provide a barometer for what matters most. My biggest achievements and failures all can point back to my either being true to these foundational guideposts or disregarding them.

Recently I started a new job. In this role, I lead a team of amazingly dedicated individuals. With a desire to show up for them authentically, we started our first meeting by going through a Core Values Exercise* as a team. I want to lead with empathy and to build trust as we shape the culture of our team and work towards our common goals. I can’t express enough how significant these early conversations have been for our team, as we learn what we each value most and how that drives our behavior, we are able to leverage each others strengths and how that is most helpful to the team as a whole.

While this may seem a bit woo-woo, especially in a professional context, my experience of implementing this practice has resulted in improved collaboration and we will use this information as a throughline for ongoing development, to drive a culture of accountability and to support retention.

The weekend before starting in my new role, I practiced this exercise on my family. It produced some honest (and really funny!) conversations and provided helpful intel as we navigate our relationships in our home, especially as a fairly recently, blended family. A product of the family values conversation now is written on the mirror in our dining room stating: “OUR FAMILY VALUES: Respect, integrity, grace, love, and gratitude”. When I look at that mirror, I am so proud and know that it will reminds us of our unity and care for each other. This is something that I want to be evident always, and taking time to really hear each other out and creates a culture where we can all thrive.

*Note, I was given permission to use this exercise from my incredible Nonprofit Consultant & Leadership coach Meg Robertson whom I can’t recommend highly enough.