It was all the rage to discover one's "Love Language" when I was in college.

During my weekly bible study, it wasn’t uncommon to say things like: "Of course that was meaningful to you, your love language is Acts of Service" or "Everyone knows you're a Quality Time kind of girl"! and so on so forth. It was not at all surprising for me to discover my Love Language was called "Words of Affirmation". This basically means I feel the most loved when people verbalize their love to me and that might feel more meaningful to me than other expressions of love.

This might explain why I have felt compelled to save every single card I’ve received for the past several years and these are some of my most prized possessions. They are not at all organized, just a haphazard pile of words from my favorite people. Every so often, I re-read one or a few them. I did this the other day and was blown away by how much love I still experienced by being reminded of birthdays, graduation, holidays, and just because I love you days, etc... the power of these "Words of Affirmation" was palpable for me.

Recently I met with a spiritual director as I felt a need to speak with someone pastoral and who could hopefully offer some guidance. Melind is a gentle man who moved to New York from India over thirty years ago. He loves New York. After I lamented about not feeling as connected here as I would like, Melind said to me: "Maybe He moved you here for you to grow-up in your faith and to no longer rely on others to tell you who you are? Courtney, I encourage you and will pray for you to begin to allow God to tell you who you are". I pondered these words for days and days (I was also a bit taken aback by his candor) and concluded that he was right. I do rely on others not to necessarily tell me about myself, but to also to tell me about God.