I love weddings. I love going to them, being in them, the whole shebang. Dresses, dancing, cake, epic toasts that go on and on. It's just the best. Where else can you witness your friend's drunk uncle KILLING IT on the dance floor while one of the bridesmaids is making out in the bushes with an old college roommate of the groom and the flower girl is asleep on her grandmother's lap. A microcosm of fun.

My best friend got married last weekend and it was as wonderful as I wanted it to be. We went to North Carolina for the festivities and loved every minute. These friends have a classic love story. Girl swipes right, boy swipes right, they meet up in a hotel bar and the rest is history.

This most recent wedding marked the 18th time I've been a bridesmaid. (Yes, I've seen the movie). It all started when my mom married my stepdad. I was in high school and it was a small, Sunday afternoon wedding and I was my mother's only attendant. I remember it as a sweet and slightly awkward day. I wore this horrible pepto-bismol pink dress with sequins on the top and a fluffy tulle skirt. I looked like a marshmallow. MY SHOES WERE DYED TO MATCH.

The first wave of weddings came the Summer after college. Four weddings in eight weeks. (All these Christian kids were antsy to get married so they could have sex and not feel guilty about it) I should have had more fun at these blessed events than I did. It would have been a great place to meet fun new people, learn some sweet dance moves, and finally get over a recent heartbreak, but that didn't come until much later. A few years passed and another wave of weddings hit and they've continued to slowly trickle in ever since.

While the number of times I've been a bridesmaid has been the source of many jokes over the years it's honestly been a huge gift. When someone asks you to stand next to them while they're making arguably the biggest decision of their life, it's a big deal. I mean, don't get my wrong, I probably could have bought a house by now with all the money I've spent on dresses, trips, presents, and up-do's, but who can put a price on participating in sacred moments? Those memories are invaluable.

In all honesty, there have been times where I’ve internalized the saying: “Always a bridesmaid, never a bride” and felt insecure about it. These feelings (while valid), are not fair to myself or the hope I have for my future and it steals the celebration of that moment. There is always an opportunity to see either the joy in circumstances or lack. Few things in life are 100% good or 100% bad. Mindset is everything in these moments and choice is always there to be made. When I think of all the memories I would have missed if I would have said no, simply due to my own fear, it feels significant. This challenges me to say yes to other invitations and excites me for the fulfillment that comes from it.